Step Two, Part Three

Coming To Believe

1. Do I have fears about coming to believe? What are they?
- I do have some fears. I fear that sometimes I won't be able to sustain my beliefs because I have founded it on something that will withstand my scrutiny or my own questioning. In times of  difficulty, I've come to believe , but I hear that simply won't be enough.

2. Do I have barriers that make it difficult to believe? What are they?
- I sometimes have a hard time in believing something I cannot see. I lost faith for a long time during my active addiction. But now that I'm coming to believe again, I see that my higher power can work miracles. My higher power has lifted the want to use from me. I still have my days where I'm in my head, but I play the tape through and think of the consequences if i do use, and know that I don't want to go back to that place ever again.

3. What does the phrase. "we came to believe in a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity," mean to me?
- To me, it means that if I'm able to believe in a higher power, which for me is God, then I'm able to accept the fact that if I truly believe in Him, and put all my faith in Him, then he will restore me to sanity. He will remove this burden I've been feeling for so long in my life.

4. Have I ever believed in anything for which I didn't have tangible evidence? What was this experience like?
- When I was younger I went to Catholic Church and believed in God. But I stopped going and through my teenage years, I lost a lot of that faith because I stopped paying attention and listening to it. Btu since I've regained that faith that "there is something greater than me" out there, that's been very comforting to me. Doing good work makes me feel good about myself. I noticed that joining in with others who are pursuing similar goals as me gave me a feeling of well-being and purpose. I like feeling  that way. 

5. What experiences have I heard other recovering addicts share about the process of coming to believe? Have I tried any of them in my life?
- I've heard them share about how even though it's really tough in the beginning, it gets easier with time. They talked about how they've had this spiritual awakening, which I have yet to have, but I know it will come. They share about how great life is on the other side of addiction. Their stories truly gave me hope that my life will continue to get better.

6. In what do I believe?
- That there is something greater and more powerful than me that wants me to get better and is going to help me along the way. But most importantly, I believe in myself.

7. How has my belief grown since I've been in recovery?
- It's grown because I actually do believe again. I've seen how strong others' beliefs are and how it has positively impacted their lives. At first, I wasn't sure it could work for someone like me. But when I came here to Narcotics Anonymous, my fears slowly widdeled away. Things confirmed that I was in the right place if I wanted to change my life for the better. I knew I was where I belonged.